I have only heard back from two beta readers about my manuscript. One gave me killer advice and the other made the fatal mistake of saying, “It was good. I enjoyed it.” Like I said in a previous post, while I do enjoy having my ego stroked, this is not exactly the kind of hard-hitting, thoughtfully written feed-back I was angling for. The other three haven’t responded to either an email I sent out a few days ago or the initial email I sent out two months ago.
All of this leaves me wondering a few things. One – is my writing such utter crap that only people with very strong stomachs can stand to read it? Two – if you sign up to do something as important as read someone’s manuscript, with the implicit understanding that you’re reading to give feed-back, and you don’t ever give that feed-back, why did you sign up in the first place? Three – why the hell am I doing this again?
I’m feeling horribly, terribly down on myself lately and this is just kind of another blow to my already shaky sense of self. I am constantly wondering if I have what it takes to become a published author. Right now, more often than not, the answer is a resounding no.