Posted by: Fiona Skye | 7 December 2009

When In Doubt…

Still Life in Citrus

Still Life in Orange and Celedon

…post pretty pictures.

I’m feeling rather hinky about finishing this manuscript before the 25th of this month.  I’m not sure I’m going to make my own deadline.  What if I can’t meet my own deadlines?  Does this mean I won’t be able to meet agents/editors/publishers deadlines?

I’m stressing out over things that haven’t even happened yet, which clashes with my Buddhist leanings.  Buddha said,

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”

Clearly, Buddha was not a student, a parent, or a writer.  He obviously did not have to worry about deadlines or providing for his children.  He could sit under his Mahabhodi tree day after day and pontificate about living in the present, not mourning the past or worrying about the future.  I’m really, honestly, truly trying to be more like him, but…I have these two small people and a small dream depending upon me.  It’s kinda hard not to worry.

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Responses

  1. After working two years as a trial lawyer, I met with other attorneys in a bar. Over a glass or two of beer, one said to me “I pity the poor client that has me as their lawyer.”

    I felt the same way, but would never share that with anyone except another lawyer who felt such misery while learning the profession.

    Years later, I would recall that scene whenever I faced something new and what at first felt “unachievable” in the practice of law. I had doubted my Self before, I thought! But somehow, some way, the “right” course evolved. I was comforted to realize that life . . . and work . . . is just that, a “practice.” We want to be perfect. But that is something that only a Buddha achieved. And I seem to recall that it took him a lifetime to realize.

    I like to apply this to my own life, particularly when I have doubts with decisions I have make daily about such things as my spiritual life, my family life, and my raising a teenager and some backyard chickens (not much difference sometimes between my boy and that sombitch rooster!).

    And I feel better about my “practice.”

    I betcha you can too!

    michael j


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